As a horror fan, it was just a matter of time until I sat down to watch the remake of Romero's The Crazies. As far as horror remakes go, it was above average. But this isn't a review. This is more of a strange political re-analysis. You see, Romero's original was made during the Vietnam war and reflected growing mistrust of the government at the time. The remake was filmed during the H1N1 scare and explored similar themes around concerns of our ability to respond to a flu pandemic. But a very different set of themes occurred to me as I watched the remake.

Disclaimer: If you have not yet seen The Crazies remake, you may want to do so before you read this. I'm going to keep it spoiler free (although if you've seen the original, you know the story already), but your viewing experience is likely to be changed by what I am about to say.

The story is familiar to any horror fan, but consider how perfectly it matches up with a certain political narrative. A small, rural American town (REAL AMERICA) begins to experience trouble when a few residents become afflicted with some sort of unknown malady that makes them act strangely (LIKE TEABAGGERS) and eventually become violent (LIKE THE TEABGGER RHETORIC).

It turns out that the residents have been infected by a chemical agent released by the (EVIL) government (IN SOME SORT OF VAST CONSPIRACY). The military (SERVING AT THE BECK AND CALL OF KENYAN-BORN BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA) comes to town to enact a quarantine reminiscent of the Soviet invasion in Red Dawn (BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST/COMMUNIST/FASCIST). They have armored vehicles, fly around in black helicopters, and disarm the townspeople (I TOLD YOU BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA WOULD COME TO TAKE OUR GUNS AWAY).

The military refers to the infected townspeople as "crazies," (MUCH LIKE SANE PEOPLE REFER TO TEABAGGERS) conducts medical screenings (HEALTH CARE RATIONING), and places the infected ones in a secure quarantine facility (DEATH PANELS). Fortunately, a few brave townspeople escape from the facility led by the town sheriff (GLENN BECK), leave town (GETTING OFF THE GRID), and arm themselves (SECOND AMENDMENT REMEDIES). Throughout much of the rest of the film, we see our heros (TEABAGGERS) struggling against a cruel and oppressive military machine (BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA'S ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT).

Clearly, it is time for me to take a break from watching Fox "News" or any of the MSNBC shows that insist on showing clip after clip from Fox "News." That I was unable to watch the film without thinking about this suggests that I need that break quite urgently.

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